Oh hey ya’ll!
First off, let’s discuss the selfie I used for this post. Not to get too deep, but it was taken in the summer and I was in my e-l-e-m-e-n-t. I was at the cottage, hair was greasy from a bonfire the night before, the sun was hot, the air was warm, and life was good. That picture is joy to me, hence why it’s showing up here (just keep that in mind). Now moving on…
God’s got a crazy sense of humour because I surely thought that this post of mine would be quite deep and on the more emotional side of things, but that’s not at all how I feel right now – and I’m praising God for it.
As I write this I’m jamming to “Play That Funky Music” by Wild Cherry and I just finished crying because I have been so seriously blessed with the most precious family and friends in the entire world. As I got a text tonight asking how I was doing, I naturally and completely authentically replied,
“Just doing life and embracing it all in some weird kinda beautiful messed up way. Some crying, some laughing, some of everything. But that’s life and there’s something to be learned.”
Re-reading that I was literally “amen-ing” myself.
I think that when we face less-than-ideal circumstances in this life we often feel like we have to choose between letting ourselves hurt or being a-ok with it all, but why can’t it be a nice little mix of both? For the sake of authenticity I will fully admit that I have cried real hard today, but I’ve also laughed until my stomach ached. That’s just how life is sometimes, and I’m embracing it.
It’s such a popular verse but I’ve fallen more and more in love with it. Proverbs 31:25 says “She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.” I have worn this verse today and I’m choosing to do that tomorrow too (and maybe even a few days after that). For every single instance, situation, or just straight-up crappy thing we go through, there is joy to be had, laughter to experience, moments of inspiration to dig out, and quite honestly – bigger fish to fry.
This is not at all to say that you just avoid dealing with your emotions. By all means let’s confidently and boldly take our questions and doubts to God. Let’s be vulnerable and authentic, let’s cry oceans together and then laugh at ourselves afterwards. Let’s let ourselves cry out to God when we don’t understand and be honest enough to admit that. And here’s a little secret for you that I wish I knew a long time ago – it’s okay to wrestle with God. Engage in that fight because it shows your desire to seek truth.
But in that, don’t forget to count your blessings. I’m cringing at myself because this post is already so cheese-balls, but Andi and I have literally been sending tear-filled snapchats back and forth to each other because we’ve been reminiscing on our friendship and how much has happened in our lives throughout those six years – and I just love it.
Just two nights ago I had an amazing night with Hannah-Banana. We went to a pretty sick concert where I had a moment with the opener (still relishing in that). But you know, that night is one of the many I look back on in this life where it seems like all the situations and circumstances surrounding us disappeared and we just lived. Hannah laughs at me because whenever we Uber somewhere I start a conversation with our driver and ask a million questions about their life, but it always make my heart happy. We spent 45 minutes waiting for our train in Union Station laughing our butts off at Facebook videos and other things that weren’t funny but were to us because we were overtired.
And my sister, well she deserves a medal of honour. She is the most selfless person that I know and in midst of tiredness and chaos, she always takes the time to be there for me. She’ll stay on the phone for hours, listen patiently, and answer wisely. She hurts when you hurt, and without her I don’t know what I’d do. Leah, if you’re reading this know that you inspire me every day, and I pray and hope that I am half the woman you are one day.
All of this said, this is the beauty of taking the time to let your mind be immersed in your blessings. Let yourself go there, travel back to grade eleven when you said yes to sitting beside the new girl and thank God she became one of your best friends. Let yourself have a faithful concert companion that gets you musically and have the time of your life finding out the opener is more famous than you thought. And if you have a sister, cherish her and thank God for her every day because she’s a true gift.
I thought this day was going to completely suck. I went to bed last night dreading waking up in the morning, but with tears mixed with joy and sadness, I write that I have been overwhelmed with God’s goodness today. While the reality of our circumstances remains the same, and there’s things to deal with in it all, He is still GOOD.
When life gets like this, your choices aren’t to either hurt or to be okay. Your choices are to let yourself feel everything and choose despair, to feel nothing at all, or to feel everything and choose joy. I opt for the latter.
Laugh without fear of the future. Scroll through your saved Facebook videos and laugh at (I mean, *with*) two girls auditioning for American Idol by singing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” dressed as, well you could guess, lions. Listen to every song that makes you feel inspired and so completely motivated to live this life well, because I promise that music is a very healing remedy for everything that sucks in this life.
And lastly, let go and let God. You just gotta trust that He’s got more planned for you than you could ever ask or imagine. Let Him pick you up from the fall and strengthen you to keep on going. Pray that you are convicted of His faithfulness to fulfill His promises, and trust that He has what’s absolute best in store for you.
I’m going to end with the wise words of Jimmy Eat World:
“It just takes some time, little girl you’re in the middle of the ride, everything (everything) will be just fine”