highs & lows

I have experienced the utmost joy of life’s highs and the searing pain of its lows. I have felt the confidence of the Lord’s leading in my life and then the toss and turns of crushing decisions and paralyzing confusion.

Yet I have learned that beauty can be found in the darkest of moments. I have seen how heavy and hard circumstances are used sovereignly by a wholly gracious and steadfastly loving God. I have seen Him turn my heartache to songs of praise. I have found Him in my tears and in my laughs. I have felt His mercy in my repentance and His forgiveness and grace in my brokenness.

I have seen God’s intentionality and completely perfect goodness threaded and fingerprinted throughout each day, hour, minute, and second of my life. I have found rest in His incomprehensible power and intelligence. I have found peace in His plan.

I have seen Him teach me in situations I was convinced would break me. I have seen Him mould me in ways that make me look back on who I once was and what I once treasured, and see that He has a wondrously stunning way of pulling His children closer and nearer to Him.

I have tasted and seen that while my heart wanders and my desires scatter in chaos, He is the only source of living water. He is the only source of true refreshment. And like a deer pants for water, my soul thirsts for the living God.

I have soaked up many moments that instilled a longing for eternal things in me; where He has captivated me completely and made Himself undeniably known and present. I have also cried out in many moments, longing and praying to feel Him near. I have experienced the contentment only He can bring, and I have experienced fleeting desires and falsely placed hope.

More than anything, I have seen that in both the highs and the lows… He is with me. When I’m bombarded by the world and it’s lies, He cuts through the noise.
When I fall, He is there.
And when I rise, renewed by love, redemption, grace, and purpose… He is with me also.

No amount of happiness minimizes my need for Him; no amount of sadness means He is absent. My God walks faithfully and consistently beside me in all my moments – past, present, and future. He has always been, He is, and He will always be.

It is because of His promises and purely overwhelming goodness that I can forfeit the exhaustion, anxiety, and worry that easily consume my thoughts. I can put aside the fear of tomorrow and the uncertainty of the future. I can handpick and gather up all of my cares, all of my sorrows, all of my questions. I can bunch them together with arms full and carry them to the throne of grace. There, I can lay each and every one down at the feet of Jesus.

And I will let myself be consumed and overwhelmed by the peace and the grace and the help and the hope and the joy that follows. I will let go of all I hold onto; the opinions that are irrelevant, the standards that are lies, and the deep-seated fears I don’t understand. I will cling to what is good and right. I will cling to the love of Christ.

In the highs and lows, I will love my God.
For His love is better than life itself.

In the highs and lows, I will smile and my soul will rejoice.
For He is faithful through it all.

Highs & Lows – Hillsong Young & Free

When it feels like the dark
Lingers longer than the night
When the shadows feel like giants
Are You chasing me down

Tell me where could I run
From Your light
Where could I hide
Hemmed within Your precious thoughts
There’s no hiding from Your love

Highs and lows
Lord You’re with me either way it goes
Should I rise or should I fall
Even so
Lord Your mercy is an even flow
You’re too good to let me go

Should I dance on the heights
Or make my bed among the depths
Your mercy waits at every end
Like You planned it from the start

Should the dawn come with wings
Or find me far-side of the sea
There Your hand still fastens me
Ever closer to Your heart

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